An Ode to My Mother

......

I cry when I think of mom,
Nags everyday when I didn’t do my chores;
I was such a lazy dog back then,
I know she’s worried I’ll grow up bone-idle

I cry when I think of mom,
Spanked me so hard when she apprehended my first smoke;
I wasn’t thinking… I was a big dickhead then,
I know she did that out of concern

I cry when I think of mom,
Kept mum after seeing my college card with only two-passed grades;
I was so lost and irresponsible, still young and wild,
I know she trusted me I could recuperate

I cry when I think of mom,
Weeps in the corner, worried how she'd pay the bulk of school bills;
We were three siblings, synchronously attending the university,
I know she’d done everything she can to make ends meet

I cry when I think of mom,
Takes good care of me when I am sick;
I feel her heavy heart, absorbs to ease the pain,
She just takes care of anything

I cry when I think of mom,
Kissed my cheek when I introduced my first girlfriend;
Could it be, it proved I don’t mess around?
I know she was happy for me

I cry when I think of mom,
Hid her tears on my wedding day;
To end up all my miseries and wicked ways,
I know she was certain I’ll be in good hands

I cry when I think of mom,
Phones us everyday just to check how we’re doing;
Until now she worries about everything,
I know she misses her kids on her side...we are her babies

I smile when I think of mom,
To this great occasion, I’d like to speak my heart;
A stupendous mother, a great lady so strong and confident,
I love you everyday, God blesses you on your Birthday...

My Perfect Day

It's my birthday today...yes, I know, I am getting older or shall we say advanced in the course of existence. Mas magandang pakinggan. Anyone wants to guess my age?!
 

 

Thoroughfare of Dreams

I ‘ve known Mardk for quite sometime in the blogsphere and I kinda compliment him for the way he expresses himself. No fuzziness in his writing, straightforward and from what I read, puts music as one of his emotion of regard. Am I right, bro?...hehehe. But for the first time…I must disagree with you, I don’t feel I am a veteran with metal riffs. Magagalit nyan si namayapang "Dimebag" Darrel, one of the respected axeman in the scene. But thanks for the mention, bro…nabigla ako sa post mo at sa pangalan ko.

I’ve been playing the guitar for quite a while…started caressing the frets at the age of twelve or thirteen (if my memory serves me right) with an original Cebu acoustic brought home by my bisayang uncle. The first song that I first tried was the “Ako’y Isang Pinoy” by apo Florante with a D-A-G-A perpetual chords. I was so hooked on folk and country songs then with the likes of Peter,Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, CSNY…a lot of them. And I was hooked on guitars that I wouldn’t miss a practice for a day.

Second year high school when my dad bought me my first album…a KISS “Alive II” double live album and that was the start on my metal addiction per se (si daddy kasi, siguro nakita niya kahiligan ko)…sinundot pa nya ng ibili nya ako ng second-hand na electric guitar…it was the time of playing like there was never tomorrow. Everyone in the house hated me for the dissonance but that was what I like…and I’ve dreamt of being a rockstar…hahaha, ambisyosong pagong si metal. But I was a kid then. Prior to college, i’ve tried getting an exam for the UP with a dream of taking up the conservatory of music pero di kaya ng utak, bagsak sa entrance and that was my first frustration. It ended me taking up engineering in Baguio but that did not stop and frustrate me with my guitars…I’ve considered music as my life then…and heavy metal at that time was prospering and propagated by Sabbath, Priest, Whitesnake, Dokken, Maiden and the like…the era of sex, drugs and rock & roll which fuelled the young and the restless, the era of free spirit and crossing a lot borderlines. Pinoy Rock and Rhythm dominated the air thru the DzRJ 810 with Howlin Dave, Stoney Burke and others at the captain's cockpit...some of the legends Maria Kapra, Chikoy Pura's The Jerks, Anakbayan's late great progressive drummer, Edmund "Bosyo" Fortuno were sending shivers to the worried mothers of the rebellious spirits of their sons and daughters.

Up to now, as much as possible I practice with a minimum of 3 hours daily…it would complete my day. I do a lot of sweep picking, appregios with Down Up Down Down, etc, low to high, over and over just to improve the speed and practice the pinky or the small finger in a 120-bpm funky-fusion metronome. Bro…try to learn the licks in small chunks. Try to break up what you’re learning in small pieces. You’ll discover that you’ll get a lot farther that way and it is easier to connect many little bits into a bigger piece than to swallow a big piece all at once. Practice is the key…what is important is to find a healthy balance of discipline and the desire to play.

Metallica…uhhmmm, I once loved them but when they started to become commercialized...completely gone are the heavy riffs and speed demon guitar solos, replaced by short, simple, catchy little ditties, I started shying away…Sandman was the last song I liked. Blind Guardian, Iced Earth and Edguy are some of the awesome bands I like…the underrated, underground masters.

Bro, one thing I could share: Even though we see guitar as our life’s focal point, have fun with it and try to experience the music as something beautiful without weighing it down with unnecessary seriousness. Music is fun. You are one of the best, bro!

The Deepest Fear

I had another scare of my life yesterday night...right after dinner, namilipit sa sakit ng tiyan ang anim na taon kung bunso. He can't stand straight and had to curl his body, maybe to ease his pain. I had to rush him to the hospital...buti na lang naisipan ko pang makapagpalit ng shorts, nakapantulog na rin ka shorts kasi ako nun (erotic kasi dating ng short shorts). Taranta rin ako sa mga ganung sitwasyun.

I drove the car like Schumacher's Ferrari and in a few minutes nasa ospital na kami. I was so damn worried and confused....i hate seeing any of my family taken to a place for the sick. Ewan, I really hate hospitals (but not doctors, of course). One anecdote i had: My wife had a miscarriage on her first pregnancy, she had a spotting and i had to rush her to a hospital. She was checked by the OB and declaired: " kailangan na nating i-raspa". I asked my mother-in-law the meaning of raspa (it was the first time i heard of that word) and i was shocked to hear it was a forced abortion...nakunan pala asawa ko. And i collapsed right in front of the doctor...namutla ako at hinimatay. Natatawa ang ibang pasyente, paano, imbes na misis ko ang asikasuhin para sa operasyon, eto ako't nakahiga sa hospital, iniintindi ng nurse with matching ammonia to wake my senses. Lumakas lang ang loob ko ng sinabi ng misis ko na ok lang...kaya nya at huwag mag-alala.

Going back to my son...funny thing is, pagdating sa hospital, biglang tumayo at sinabing "ok na ako, nawala na sakit...uwi na tayo". I felt a big relief, i thought it was appendicitis or other things (tinatamaan ba ang bata sa sakit na ganito?) but he was still checked by the doctor and found nothing. Yun pala, nung hapon, siniko siya ng kanyang kalaro. Siguro me nasaktan sa internals nya. But he's ok..so much so, i would also be ok. I get sick when somebody i love is sick, ewan. And i get some shivers each time i step in a hospital.

I would always pray for the health of my family, diyan ako mahina pag me isa sa kanila me sakit.

Esteem Friend

I've been away for more than a week. I have to rush to Baguio City to be with my best friend Dinky who lives there, the guy who borrowed my first cheap electric Fender guitar, didn't mind returning it and have no intentions of giving it back to me. I don't mind...he's the best of my best friends.

He has undergone an operation, tinanggal ang appendix, a small pouch-like connected with the intestine at punong-puno na yata ng impurities sa kaiinom ng alak at kakakain ng tripilla ng manok. Mahilig kasing dumaan yun sa barbekyuhan at bumili ng inihaw na tripilla. His family is out of the country and he is home alone...i have to be with him and take care of his needs...tigapakain, tigakamot ng likod, tigahugas ng pwet, tigakuwento, tigabili ng gamot. Naging tigasing alalay tuloy ako ng dakila kong kaibigan.

I don't mind...i felt it was my obligation to do this specially in time of needs or bad times, could be for the family or friends. I could sacrifice my week earnings for them, and i won't allow friendship stops...this is the time to show you care and your presence means a lot. You can't make bad stuff go away, but you can free up a person's time so that he can deal with the crisis.

Now, he can manage and he is ok, he'll live (mahirap yun, lapit na kasi sa bituka) and I have to go back to my work, galit na ang boss ko. But one thing i can share is... that friendship is not words but meanings. And drama ko pero totoo yun!

Me and my Kimchi

How I love to feast my meal with my Kimchi...When I had a chance to have a trip to Korea way back 1996, I was in love with this traditional spicy and fiery, yet earthy and cool salad. And eversince...life for is nothing without Kimchi. Dare?!

Would you know that in recent years, kimchi has received the blessing of science for its rich dietary value. Researchers have found that kimchi contains a surprisingly large amount of vitamin C and carotene, as well as substantial amounts of protein, fats, carbohydrates, calcium, and vitamins? Dare?!
 

 

Across the Plains

I have promised myself that when my feasibility study is done, i am going to reward myself, take a break, get out from the headaches of work and go for a vacation...which i did last week. Finally!

The whole family packed their respective bags, throw these in the car trunk and went straight north....the Pangasinan region. I missed my Mom & Dad, my nephews, my sister who had just arrived from UK, my old dogs, our old house. I miss the Ilocano-speaking folks, the dinendeng, papaitan, tupig and i miss the country air.
 

 

There were no time wasted...i had a chance to go to Bunuan, Dagupan City for a taste of the best grilled bangus dipped in bagoong, the famous Silverio's which was fondly called Dawel Restaurant way back then...a restaurant in the middle of the fish ponds. This is where Mom and Dad usually bring us when we were kids. The place was a bit modern now with a band playing while having your sumptuous meal...still the same good old sea foods.

After a good dinner, me and my cousins went to this ala-Kampo night out...the "Warehouse" where we had some beer while banging our heads with the Alamid band and some other underrated groups...not too bad. It was a night that rules when nobody watches with evil designs. Mostly teens flooded the club, gyrating with much gusto when a band delivers a hip-hop piece complete with the high five-finger-sign gesture. But that didn't even bother me...i am no hip-hop buff but i can translate. Kalabaw lang ang tumatanda, aba.

 

A visit to Baguio was the next maneuver...it was the whole family, and the kids really enjoyed the sights...complete with the fog, a mist approaching so nearly to fine rain. The same old parks but fair enough, those pine trees soothe the soul and compensate everything. My wife had a chance to buy all her pasalubongs...walis tambo, the brittle, the strawberry jams. And yes, we had a chance to go by La Trinidad's strawberry fields...isa sa tambayan ko nung nag-aaral pa ako. I really missed Baguio...i spent half of my life in this city.

 

And finally, our visit to the miraculous Lady of Manaoag...the shrine is so serene, full of spirits and blessings. Every time i have my vacation, i ascertain a visit at the site for a prayer of thanksgiving and blessings. One part of my life when i was sick, this is where i sought refuge...a daily talk with our Lady brings comfort and assurance.  

I had a heavy heart coming back here in Rizal...it would again take sometime for my next vacation. But i am blessed...i still have a lot of chances of coming back to where my roots are, a place where life is simple, full of vigor...yet, there is so much to see and do, you'll want to come back time and time again. A life away from the frenetic pace of life in the city. Oh well, there is always a time to look back.

Nine Digits of the Future

And i'm back...hah. After months of isolation, i am coming out of my cage and back to the real world. The job's almost done and i am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel...ang drama ko!

If my memory serves me right, it was almost four months that i haven't been active in the blogging sphere. I take a peek once in a while on some friends' blogs if i had the chance...kaka-miss din kasi, di ko matiis. I was given by the company a very important assignment which i think will be one of the most important projects next year. I had to lead a team to conduct a feasibility study on the revamping of the plant's Process Control System (or commonly termed as Digital Control System, DCS). The plant's automation network has to be replaced with a reliable system which would increase the availability of production workflows. It is like changing the brain or the core of operation...ganun kahaga ang study and would you believe, the project would cost a whooping 100 million pesos, 'tangna...tirik na mata ko, di pa nakakahawak ng ganun kalaking pera?

 
The study was really hard, mabusisi at muntik-muntikan rin akong sumuko, i even bring my work at home para walang sayang na oras. The team had to follow the matrix of responsibilities because we are committed to finish it as scheduled with precision. Every details have to be in the tender document and made sure nothing is missed out. During reviews, nagtatalo-talo pa kami sa grupo..."dapat ganito, dapat ganun", each one has his piece, but at the end, everything is resolved. I think that was healthy. Naawa pa ako minsan sa isang cadet engineer na naisama ko sa grupo...lagi ko kasing napapagalitan pag nabubugnot na talaga ako...batang-bata kasi at medyo pogi kaya sa kanya ko na lang binubuhos and inis. But i see to it naman na bago kami maghiwalay, nakaakbay na ako sa kanya at sinasabi kong "Good work". Siguro sinasabi nya sa sarili niyang "Good workin mo mukha mo"...hehehe.

I have a lot to say (kabaliktaran yun, in fact, ala na talaga ako masabi), but i think i'll just do it on the next post. What is good is...."IM BACK!" and i miss all of you, dudes. \m/

Me and Dark and You

I am coming home...!

 

Sharpening The Iron

I am on night shift today roving around the plant to monitor 15 contractors doing their big projects ensuring that they are executing the work in standard procedures as well as in the safest manner. Our plant is now on a three-week shutdown for the annual major maintenance. This is the most tiring time of the year since you have to monitor the scheduled activities making it sure that the target completion date is on the right track. Planning is very crucial...the committed target date must be met without any accident, else the plant's credibility and reliability is compromised.

But this is what intend to blog...medyo nagkaroon lang ako ng time makapag-post habang nagpapahinga galing sa pag-iikot. Just yesterday I had my free time (8 pm til 8 am the next day kasi time ng shift)to attend to my 11-year old daughter's graduation on her swimming lessons here at the Southland Aqua Gems at Antipolo. Dami palang kids na nag-enroll at nakatutuwa. You could even see 2-year old tots having their lessons. Yung bunso kung lalake duwag. Pina-enroll ng nanay nya pero noong first day, dinala ng instructor sa malalim at duon nag-iiyak...natakot. Nagsabi at nagbanta pa na susuka raw sya sa pool pag di siya inalis doon (nanakot pa!). Mahilig sa tubig pero ayaw sa malaim...mana sa akin. So, di na namin pinilit at pinatuloy, maybe next year.

 

 

Prior to the distribution of the certificates, the swimming coaches organized an exhibition...karera ng mga bata. And i was in awe seeing my daughter swim very professionally...ang bilis sa freestyle and it varies with other styles such as breaststroke, butterfly, etc. Syempre magyayabang na ako, panalo sa competition yung dalagita ko. Maligayang-maligaya ako dun sa sulok habang nanunuod...a proud father at that considering na di ako marunong lumangoy. Sa wakas, me magsa-save na rin sa akin kung sakaling ako'y lumubog pag nagsu-swimming.

After the handing of certificates, the swimming head coach approached me and handed me my daughter's award..."Most Outstanding Swimmer" and informed me that they'll continue to train her for a competition somewhere in Manila before this month ends. My daughter asked me, "Pa please let me, gusto ko sumali sa competition. Sino ba naman ako para tumanggi...i'll have to support her interest. I know it would really build her confidence.

 

 

While we were driving home, i had this un-ending smile on my lips...i am a proud father and i prayed thanking the Lord...for my kids and family.

Keeping the Promises

I brought my wife and kids at the mall for some walk last Sunday. Matagal-tagal na rin akong di nagagawi doon. Let's face it, life has been very hard these days and weekly rolling around the mall wouldn't be that practical. Maski wala kang bibilhin, you would still spend some for the food & gasoline, kaya tama na yung paminsan-minsan. At least quality-wise, ok yung pasyal.

While we were roving around, admiring some stuff, my little son exclaimed, "You said then you'll buy me anything if i get good grades". It was also seconded by my eldest daughter. I was drawn back when i heard these words, because I remembered that I had promised that I’d buy then anything they want if they'll make good in school (syempre yung kaya ng budget). I began to give excuses concerning why we needed to go home. They would have none of it. My wife's just smiling at the corner.

So we turned around and went straight to the Toy Kingdom. Tingin dito, pili doon. My son had this pedaled toy cart while the girl wanted an electric organ plus enroll and continue her swimming lessons...and the winner is, syempre sila. Sus, butas na naman ang bulsa ko...di na ako makabili ng pamalit sa butas kong brief.

 

 
After that, we got home but there was some good things about the walk in the mall...I kept my words and it is something that i would always want them to count on. Ang mga bata talaga...ang talas ng memorya lalo na sa mga ipinangako. Pag nakarinig sila ng ganun, nai-aassume na nila na mangyayari iyon at hinding-hindi makakalimutan. Kaya pag may maipangako sa mga bata, kailangan na tuparin ito at huwag na huwag mangangako ng hindi kayang tuparin...it would hurt their feelings and would begin losing their trust in you.

Anyway, they kept their promises, too...they've shown me their good grades.